Being bi, I have experience dating on both sides of the aisle. I suppose I do like men more, but I could see myself going out with a female, if the right one were to come along. My male/female dating ratio is probably somewhere around 100:1. Why the huge disparity? Despite the fact that I do prefer men more, there are some large asymmetries in the attitudes of both men and women when it comes to dating, which I’m going to explore here.
First off, let’s talk about the easy half of this equation: men. Some evolutionary biology research articles portray the man as the hunter, while it’s the job of the female to screen and filter potential mates. Say what you’d like about so-called evolutionary biology hypotheses, but this portrayal seems fairly accurate in my experience. Men are horny. Men are easy. Men want a mate and will try their damnedest to get one. Even in my own experience, I use the “shotgun approach” of messaging large numbers of potential partners in hopes of getting a response. How does this go for me? When messaging other men, my response rate is typically around 30-40%. Let me tell you, it’s ridiculously easy for a gay man to find a date or get laid, especially if he’s young, half-decent-looking, and there’s a million other gay dudes living on the neighboring island looking for the same thing. And keep in mind, that’s factoring in my own filtering of mates in the opposite direction.
When messaging women, my response rate is, optimistically, 5-10%, and good luck getting more than a lukewarm response or having a conversation progress more than a few messages before fizzling out. Why the disparity? Short answer: women are afraid of men. You’d think that women have it easy, with a huge pool of men to choose from, but some girls that I’ve spoken with bring up the fact that too many men out there are pigs or psychos. These are the men that can’t take no for an answer. These are the men that try to whip their dick out on the first date. These are the men that are liable to rape a woman to get what they want. These bad apples are unfortunately far too common, and they screw the rest of the eligible single male dating pool.
And of course, if these men don’t get with the girl they want, it isn’t their fault, it’s the girl’s. If she says no to a suitor, she’s a prude or a bitch. If she decides to sleep with a man, she’s declared a slut. Well, let me focus the anger where it belongs… Jesus fuckin’ Christ, dudes! You can’t have it both ways! Either you want easy women to sleep with, or you don’t! Don’t get your goddamn panties in a bunch because she slept with someone besides you! By slut-shaming women, you’re reinforcing these goddamn Victorian-era morals about purity and all that bullshit. This is the 21st century, a woman can do what she wants with her body! And why the hell are you bitching when women are finally breaking free of these old norms and putting out?!?!?!?!
The slut-shaming, on top of the legitimate fear of being raped, causes women to shell up and be hesitant to talk with men, let alone meet a stranger from the internet for a date. THIS is the reason for the disparity of the genders that I’ve dated, and THIS is the reason why it’s incredibly difficult for a man to find a decent girl to date. As they say, all the good girls are taken… and the rest are cowering in fear.
These assholes need some punishment for their behavior. I ought to hire a sadistic bounty hunter to catch one of you rapists and detach your dick using a mandolin. Slice… by slice…